top of page
Search

TPITP EP94 – What’s Possible When You Fully Own Your Power And CLAIM YOUR CONFIDENCE

  • wendy8390
  • Jul 16
  • 28 min read
ree

Are you ready to go all-in and explore a side of yourself that’s been waiting to break free? Join The Unapologetic Woman Mastermind today! https://2ha2becr4lw.typeform.com/to/R93zraxb  

In this powerful episode, I’m joined by Lydia Fenet, the world’s leading charity auctioneer, to dive into what’s possible when you own your power and start claiming your confidence.

Lydia walks us through her story of pausing, reflecting, and gathering the confidence to make a change in her life. She shares the real challenges of wearing many hats, plus practical strategies to face self-doubt, overcome fear, and lead with confidence.

When we embrace the unknown and let go of control, we step more fully into who we are—and that’s how we command the room.

Join us in this episode of The Power In The Pause:  What’s Possible When You Fully Own Your Power And Claim Your Confidence.

Key Points:

00:00 Introduction

04:00 Revisiting life in the pause

07:40 Work and learn everything you can

12:15 Take it day by day

14:08 You can handle anything

16:08 Get better at doing things

16:45 Allow yourself to fail

20:30 Overcoming fear of failure

21:38 Put yourself out there authentically

24:35 Don’t ask for permission

30:06 Reset your energy

Enjoy this episode? Don’t forget to leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts.

Lydia Fenet is the world’s leading charity auctioneer, the CEO & Founder of the Lydia Fenet Agency, author of two best-selling books, The Most Powerful Woman in the Room is You & Claim Your Confidence, and podcast host of the show, Claim Your Confidence. Over her two-decade-long career, Lydia served as the Global Managing Director of Strategic Partnerships for Christie’s and reshaped the fundraising landscape as the world’s leading charity auctioneer. She has single-handedly raised over one billion dollars for more than 800 organizations and broken down countless barriers for women in the auction industry.

Visit her website!

Connect with Lydia Fenet:

Learn more about Wendy: https://wendypaigesterling.com

Join Wendy’s new Facebook group, The Power In The Pause.

Get Wendy’s Self Trust Checklist for free!

Follow Wendy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wendypaigesterling/  

Follow Wendy on Facebook:

Follow Wendy on LinkedIn:




TRANSCRIPT

Wendy Paige Sterling: [00:00:01] Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of the Power in the Pause podcast. I am your host, Wendy Page Sterling and today we are diving into a conversation that is I believe is gonna spark something really powerful in you. So whatever it is that you’re doing that’s multitasking, I’m gonna invite you to please stop doing that. You’re gonna wanna grab a notebook, you’re gonna want to give your full attention to this episode. The reason why is because we are talking about confidence today. And this is not the type of confidence that is meant to be about being polished or performative. It is actually the kind that you embody or rather that you get to start claiming today. And there is no one better to guide us through this conversation other than the incredible Lydia Finett. Hello, Lydia, how are you? Hi, Wendy, I’m so excited to be here. Oh my gosh, I’m so excited that you said yes to be on this show and to share your wisdom and many of your amazing stories with my listeners today. Ultimately, it is really about reminding everybody listening about what is possible when you fully, fully own your power and start claiming your confidence. So everybody, let me share a little bit about Lydia with you all in case you are not familiar with her. Lydia Finett is the world’s leading charity auctioneer, the CEO and founder of the Lydia Finette Agency. She is the author of two bestselling books, The Most Powerful Woman in the Room is You and Claim Your Confidence. And she’s also a podcast host of the show Claim your Confidence, she has single-handedly raised over $1 billion for more than 800 organizations and broken down countless barriers for women in the auction industry. And she has a two decade long career where she served as the global managing director of strategic partnerships for Christie’s. And she really has reshaped the funding landscape in her years of the experience that she has had. And Lydia, I’m so happy that you’re here today. And with every single one of my guests, I always ask them. To share their story about how it is that you found your power in the pause and how it inspires the work and the woman that you are today. [00:02:21][139.8]

Lydia Fenet: [00:02:22] Well, first of all, thank you for that incredible introduction. It’s so interesting to listen to your own bio being read out. But I think that kind of really sums up to what brought me to the power of my paws. So I had been working at Christie’s for almost 23 years. And I was an auctioneer basically from three years on after starting there. So an auction for 20 years of that, 23 years, and I was in a car accident with my family, with my three children and my husband. The first time since I left college that I stopped, truly. I was made to stop, I guess is the best way to describe it. I fractured my spine, so I had to have a spinal fusion. I broke seven ribs in my body. So even moving was almost impossible at the beginning until my spine had been fused and my body had a little time to recover. And it was certainly the first time I had been out of an office for three months, which was completely foreign to me. In addition to my own recovery, my children had been injured, my husband had been injured, so I was in the hospital for two weeks and then I was really just trying to kind of get my life back together, get my body to a point where I could actually stand up for more than, you know, a minute or two at a time. And during that pause, there were so many emotions, as you can imagine, but the biggest one for me was really revisiting my life. You know, was I doing what I wanted to be doing? And I think a lot of us during COVID had a moment of pause where we thought to ourselves exactly that, am I doing, what I’m supposed to be? And the answer was, I’m doing what, I’m suppose to be, I’m just not doing it in a place where I should be doing it anymore. And that became very apparent to me, really when I logged on, right after I got back from my sort of leave from the accident. And I was seated across the table from my husband and I opened my computer and I went on this meeting, It was a Zoom meeting like I was on for 20 years, or even in rooms before we were on Zoom. And I closed the computer at the end of the meeting and I looked at my husband and I said, what a waste of my time. What a waste my time and having had a mirror to how precious time is in our life, it was really the first time that I thought to myself, this isn’t where I’m supposed to be anymore. And I knew that that had been growing in me, That moment for me was so defined. I’ll just never forget snapping the computer down and just laughingly saying to my husband, my God, what a waste of time. And that for me, was the pause. It really was, it was the time spent recovering. It was the times spent with my family. And that was on top of the time spent with them during COVID that I realized that a change needed to happen. And that it was it. And it was probably the greatest gift that I’ve ever been given over the course of my life if I look back on it. [00:05:11][168.5]

Wendy Paige Sterling: [00:05:12] Yeah, I think so many of us can relate to, you know, I usually call them kind of the universe, uh, you now, smacking us upside the head with a two by four that we never expect, nor is it something that we ask for, but yet at the end of the day, it winds up paying. The greatest gift for us to see, you know, obviously on the other side, it’s so much easier to have that retrospection. And at the same time, I feel like sometimes, you know, there’s signs that we’re not necessarily paying attention to, that the universe is speaking to us, that it does take those moments. And I think that, you know, for I can totally relate about stepping away from corporate, starting your own business. I think a lot of women listening can relate to that, too. And it’s so hard. And one of the things that you talk a lot about is you know so many times we don’t necessarily understand how our skill set can translate to maybe it is starting your own business right and there’s a level of confidence that comes along with that so I’d love for you to speak a little bit about how it was that you were able to really kind of look you know have this this introspection and to see like wait a second I’m really good at x y and z I should be doing this for myself I’m going to start my own business it’s going to X, Y, and Z boxes for where I’m at today. So how, what was that experience like for you and how did you really gather up the confidence in yourself to be able to make that big transition? [00:06:34][82.3]

Lydia Fenet: [00:06:35] Well, I think first and foremost, you’ve hit on so many good points there, Wendy, but I think one of the ones that I would say at the beginning is the interesting thing about working for a corporate job for so long is you start to believe that your identity is wrapped up in that company. I had worked at Christie’s as an intern when I was in college, and then had stayed with Christie’s basically right after I graduated from college until the day I left. And at the end of the day, I had started to believe and really was told many times, like, you’re so lucky to work here. You know, how lucky you are. It was just always this like lucky, lucky, look at you, you get to be here. And in some way that made me feel like everything that I had was as a result of the fact that I worked in the four walls. And I would say in retrospect, what I realized is the better way to approach a situation like that, the better to approach a job is to think to yourself, yes, I’m gonna work and learn everything I can because I loved working for Christie’s. I just loved being in the office. I loved my friendships and all of those things. But what I was learning there was what I was going to take when I walked out the door. And that was the important part. And so I scooped up everything I could unknowingly. But when I left, all of those things were mine to take with me. And when the door behind me closed at Christie’s, I was still an auctioneer. I just wasn’t an auction for Christie’s anymore. And in fact, what I thought was, oh, I’m this auctioneered for Christie. A lot of people said to me, it was actually great that you don’t work with them now because. Now you can work anywhere. You could work with an auction that used to work with Sotheby’s, or you could work for a car company. The world became so much bigger when, in fact, I thought when those doors closed that that was going to close off every opportunity, and in fact the opportunities tripled the minute I left. And so I would say to anyone who’s listening, there is a confident sleep that comes. And in my case, I was lucky in sense that. When I came back after the accident, my department was essentially closed. Some of they’d done an audit when I was in the hospital essentially. And they were like, we don’t need strategic partnerships anymore. We would like you to stay on as an ambassador, which wasn’t a full-time role anymore. And I had a year non-compete that I had to sit out. But the beauty of that was, I was gonna continue on with Christie’s as an auctioneer. And that was the year that I realized that the skill had nothing to do with Christie anymore. People didn’t care that I worked. In fact, most people didn’t even realize that I still worked for Christie’s by that point. And so that for me was about claiming my confidence and thinking to myself, wait a second, if I go out on my own, I don’t need them anymore. I can just take all the things I’ve learned and apply them and then grow a business in any direction that I want. And so it all timing-wise feels like this incredible gift that that pause brought about and accelerated. So wherever you are, I would say to you, just remember the skills that you have as a result of the job that you had are yours. And the more you grow them and the more you take in every opportunity offered to you in a corporate role, like take it, learn the things, go to the HR learnings, but take those things with you and realize that those never leave you if you’ve done a good job of learning. [00:09:34][178.4]

Wendy Paige Sterling: [00:09:35] Yeah, it’s so true and I have to tell you the same thing. I mean, I worked it and we were talking about this before and how I reached out to you, but I’ve worked in the women’s lifestyle brand space for almost two decades and had created this amazing career for myself. I loved the brands that I worked for. I thought it was the coolest job. I loved talking about it. And when I was faced with a very unexpected life situation You know, being presented with the fact that I discovered that my now ex-husband was having an affair was one of those moments where I had to really go inside of myself and to really figure out what is it that I wanted and what was really next for me, because I felt like, you know, I kind of drank the Kool-Aid of the of the positions and the companies and the brands that I was being given access to. And at the end of the day, what I finally realized was like, wait a second, Wendy, you’re actually an entrepreneur. You get hired by companies to go in and build multimillion dollar regions from the ground up. So you should be doing this to yourself, for yourself. And I remember having this moment though, where I was like but wait a sec, I’m also a mom. I’m going through a divorce. I had all these dreams and aspirations. I’m a daughter. My mom was ill at the time and going through cancer treatments. And I think that so many times we think to ourselves, you know, how do we do this? How do we jump ship? You know, we’re wearing all these different hats and there’s a level of self assurance, right? That comes with having the courage to make that particular pivot. And so I’m curious how it is that you maintain your own self assurance when you are in the challenges of, you know recovering from your accident. You’re also a mom. You know, you also are an author and you, you know, I remember reading in one of your books. You’re like, I was nursing and I was writing, you know, in the middle of the night. [00:11:33][117.2]

Lydia Fenet: [00:11:32] So many things. [00:11:33][0.5]

Wendy Paige Sterling: [00:11:33] Right, so how did you navigate that? [00:11:35][1.9]

Lydia Fenet: [00:11:37] Listen, I think a lot of times when you get into those crisis moments in your life of which, guys, there are gonna be many. You never know when they’re coming. Don’t ever think you’re gonna get around it. It’s gonna happen to you too in some form and it’s okay. I think, a lot times, it happens when we think that we can’t handle anymore and then we realize how much we can handle. I would truly say to anyone who’s going through this time or is worrying about this time, you have to take it day by day. When I look back on the time where I was nursing, I had auctions at night, I had work during the day, I was writing my first book and I was burning a candle at both ends, I’m not there anymore, right? I got through it. I don’t think it was always pretty. I don’t think it has always done well, but I made it. And on the other side of that, I realized how strong I was and how much I was capable of and I reflect back on that a lot. I think about even as it pertains to the auctioneering, I took auctions during three pregnancies where I was morning sick pretty much all day every day. Like, I don’t know who toined morning sickness, like, please, someone call me because I can tell you about every hour of every day that I mean, I would be like flat on the back of a cab sleeping on the way to an auction and I would arrive and then get on stage and I’d be completely lit up while I was on stage and then I would fall and crash and go back to sleep on the away home. What I learned during that is that I can take an auction through anything. Like, I can be… Down with the flu and I can still get up and take it. I can take four red eyes in a row and still get it up and taking it. That’s what that taught me, right? It taught me that resilience. And so I’m always looking for those benchmarks of ways to think to myself, when have I been through something similar? And how did I get through it? Did I get though it? Yeah, I did, so I can do it. So the accident for me for the rest of my life will be a bellwether, right. I was able to recover from that. I still run, I play tennis. I have a- two rods in the bottom of my back, you know, they’re fused together with my spine, a lot of people would give up and they’d be like, I’m never going to be able to do anything again. And I’m sure for you, it’s very similar. Like think about all the things you were going through and now you’re on the other side and you can look back and be like I can actually handle a lot more than I ever thought I could. So dig into that resilience, take those lessons as they’re taught to you and use them to embolden yourself to forward because you can handle anything. You really can, you will get through it, even if it’s dark right now. There is a light on the other side of it. So dig in and find the lessons because that’s what will get you through. And share the lessons because sharing also helps you grow and learn. [00:14:08][151.0]

Wendy Paige Sterling: [00:14:09] Yeah, you know, I’m so glad you brought up the word resilient because when I was listening to your book, Claim Your Confidence, that’s the word that just kept coming through. I was like, man, she is so resilient. And then I think it was the second to last chapter of the book, you start bringing in the concept of change, which I feel like is kind of what you’re talking about right now, right, is, and you even say this, right? Change is the only, well, it’s one of the only constants in our lives. Death and death. Change that. Let’s change that a little bit. Exactly. But you talk a lot about in your book about how confidence begins with accepting that just change is inevitable. I mean, it is just a part of life. And that’s a lot of what I’m hearing you say in this moment is that I think so many of us, we like to be in control. I call myself a controlling analyzer, a type A personality. I love being in control, I love checking things off my list, but what? I’ve I’ve quickly learned and honestly is a part of of my success and I’m and I bet it’s for yours as well is that you know when we embrace just the unknown and really looking at what it is that we do have actual control over instead of focusing on all the things that we don’t how that allows us to increase our confidence in who it is we are and how it is a week and i’d love for you to talk a little bit about. How you’ve embraced that concept of change in your life. [00:15:37][87.3]

Lydia Fenet: [00:15:38] Yeah, I think change, and I would almost equate change in many cases with failure. It’s the thing that people are really scared of. It’s why we don’t push ourselves into things that seem incapable, like things that we could easily do. We get fearful about, we’re worried about other people’s perceptions of us. And so I would say to people, one of the easiest ways to become more confident, to become resilient is to start doing things that you’re pretty sure you can’t do. And if you can, well, you already knew, so tell everyone, make it a good story. And if you can do it, like, wow, all of a sudden you can do it. Right. And do things that you’re not good at and get better at them. You know, I think a lot of people, I say this to my kids all the time, my daughter will be like, well, I don’t want to do it and I’m not really good at it. I’m like, well, that’s why you should do it because if you’re Not good at it, you can get better, you know, day over day, whatever you do, even if you are not great, and you may never be the best, you can still get better. So give yourself the opportunity to fail time and time again, because in my opinion, the people who are the most successful in life. Are the people who are willing to do as many things as possible and just keep moving towards the things where they find success. Because if you’re gonna fail and you’re in a wallow in it, all that time you’re wallowing is the time that somebody else is stepping into that space. So try the things, you know, I’ll give you an example. I have books, I write book proposals, I do all of these things. And my book proposals are really, sometimes they work out and sometimes they don’t. You know, it’s not that I sell a book every time I walk into my. Publisher’s office. It’s not like I submit a book proposal. I’ve written half of a book that they were like, we don’t really love it. I was like, oh God, okay, well, that’s a shame that I spent all that time. But they’re right. That’s what they do. So I can sit there and think, oh, this is so sad, I’m never going to do it. Or I can really start to flesh out what if that will be appealing to a reader, like what I should be writing and take their opinions and not have it flatten me, but rather have it embolden to try more things. So that to me is really what change is about. As you said before, you can’t control what’s gonna happen to you over the course of your life. You can only change your reaction to it. So embrace it, get ready for it. You know, I’d written, I guess it was 11 chapters, 12 chapters of my book. And the thesis had always been like, once you claim your confidence, it doesn’t matter what happens to you, you’ll be fine. And then we were in a car accident. So I wrote the last chapter of the book seven weeks after the car accident and I wrote it as the last Chapter. And it was literally proving my thesis. I was like, I can sit here in this bed. And lay here and cry easily. Anyone would have been like, you deserve that. That was literally the worst case scenario that you can imagine. Like three children thought I was dying, thought my husband was dead, almost died, like really bad. Instead I saw it as a teaching moment. Look at the people who don’t feel like they can get out of bed today. What if I could walk down the block? Maybe that would inspire them to do that. Look at this, today I can walk two blocks. Look at, now I can actually like, I can work for five minutes. Day over day and that I shared. I shared it on social and it was like, I was getting things from people who were having surgeries. I got it from a woman who was having a spinal fusion and like coached her through it a month after I’d had my own surgery because that made me feel like I was in control. So that’s what I would say to you right now, like wherever you are in your own journey, just remember like this is your life and you get to choose how you’re gonna live it. So don’t be the person who’s just laying in bed like, oh, this is happening to me. It’s like. Some things are going to happen to you, but like you can get through it, I promise. [00:19:08][209.6]

Wendy Paige Sterling: [00:19:09] Yeah, I always say things happen for us, not to us, just because, to your point, I mean, and you admit this in your book, I mean you have probably 10 times the number of failures to each success that you have had. And I always tell my kids, I tell my clients all the time, failing is amazing because you’re learning how not to do something. And it adds to your arsenal of knowledge. And in my opinion, it actually accelerates your ability to achieve the successes that you do seek. And I think that, you know, I mean, we can go off on a small little tangent here. I mean social media, it’s like people put out what they want you to see. And not everybody is necessarily putting out, you know the 10,000 failures to the one success that they’re having, right? And so- Absolutely. And so I think that so many people allow, you know, the fear of failure to overcome them and to hinder them from really stepping into why they are here, right? Things happen for us because we’re here to teach. We’re here, to be examples. We’re here to be a leader and I think, you know, I think you embody leadership so incredibly beautifully and I’d love for you to talk a little bit about how it is that you embody that and how confidence plays a role in your leadership. [00:20:41][92.9]

Lydia Fenet: [00:20:44] I love being a leader. It kind of goes back to what I was just talking about. I think that every single thing that happens over the course of a day or a week or a year, you can probably find a teachable moment from that. And I also find, honestly, Wendy, that people are desperate for inspiration. I get pulled aside in coffee shops. I mean, I get pull aside on planes by people who’ve read my book or who follow me on social media. And they have questions. How do you do this? How do do you this? And I don’t have all the answers. I can only speak authentically to the things that have worked for me in my life and whether or not they’ll work for everyone, I don’t know, but I’m always happy to share that information. And that for me is what leadership is. It’s about putting yourself out there authentically, not being afraid of people who don’t agree with you because not everyone is gonna agree with. But then in addition to that, connecting people so that they can continue learning from other people as well. You know, leadership is about leading, yes, but it’s also about resourcing other people at a time when they need it in their life. And so I remember one of my friends at my wedding was one of our bridesmaids was giving a speech and she’s like, you know, the thing about Lydia is she can’t keep a secret, which is true. I really can’t a secret to save my life. But I don’t do it in a nefarious way. I do it because if I see somebody who is hurting or is having something really bad happening in their life that another friend of mine has already gone through, I’m like. This is terrible. But you know who else could help you with this? Let me call my other friend because they’ve already been through this and I’ll connect you and then you guys can both discuss it because that person’s already been though it, you know? And I’ve been the recipient of that from a lot of my friends over the years. Like just so many issues that happened in your life through pregnancy or a miscarriage or the things that are gonna happen, people have been through that before. You don’t have to recreate the wheel and sometimes just knowing that is comfort enough. And so That’s really, that’s always been my way of helping people. I’m like, that is terrible. Also, I know somebody else who’s already dealt with this and I’m gonna put you guys in touch. The person’s like, I didn’t know that I was gonna become the guide, but then they also help from it too. So I don’t know. I don’t know if that’s the best way to do it, but I certainly think that leading is really about also bringing people together and helping them help themselves. [00:23:01][137.5]

Wendy Paige Sterling: [00:23:02] Yeah. And, you know, and don’t you think that there’s so many people out there who, you know, it’s almost like they’re waiting for permission or waiting for that permission slip, right? So what would you say to someone who’s like sitting out there being like, oh, I’m just, I’m waiting for, that, that okay. I’m waiting for the external validation. What would you say to her to help her take that first step? Like you’re going to be waiting a long time. [00:23:25][23.1]

Lydia Fenet: [00:23:26] You made her a really long time. Yeah, just do it. My God. I mean, look around you and see the people who you admire the most. And the chances are they’re not asking people for permission to do things. They’re just trying it. And if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’ work out. And again, going back to the failure thing, they’ve already moved on. I was actually just at lunch with an amazing friend of mine named Vanessa. And we were talking with a mutual admiration for friend, Zibby Owens, who is an author, but she has 70 different hats. And we were saying, one of the best things about Zivy, one of most inspiring things about her is she has four children, she’s starting a publishing company, she does retreats, she does book events, she does a million things, and she doesn’t ever overthink it. And that’s why she can keep moving at such a pace because I’m sure if some things have worked out and she’s been like, oh, that didn’t work out so well, I’m really bummed about that. But even if that happened, it didn’t stop her from trying something else. And so that is what it means to not ask for permission. To just ask for forgiveness and fly forward. And it’s like, keep up. Keep up or stay behind. But I’m moving forward through all of these things and if they keep working, I’m gonna keep moving towards them. And if they don’t, I’m not gonna worry about it. And that’s a really amazing place to be. And that is where I believe confidence is formed. Because when you see someone moving like that, you’re like, that person’s not looking around asking anyone for permission. They’re just trying things and they’re not scared of failing. [00:24:50][83.2]

Wendy Paige Sterling: [00:24:51] No, and I mean, Lydia, I think you’ve shared so much wisdom. And you guys, you’ve got to, you have to read her books because combined, she has so many powerful stories. I mean there’s even a story now that I’m like, okay, well remember back when you were like applying to Christie’s, right? Like way back when, right. Like you didn’t wait, like you were so proactive in your determination and your confidence in I am going to work there. I mean, you, you were so unwavering and, and. Having first read, you know, your first book, you know the most powerful woman in the room is you and then reading claim your confidence, I now understand sort of your upbringing, you know with your childhood and sort of how that really inspired you to have the courage and to embody the confidence to say no, I am gonna work at Christie’s. And so I would love for you to share. The advice that, you know, you would have either given that version. Well, you clearly had the advice that you gave to yourself. But what would you tell somebody who is who was you right back in the day who was like, I really want to work at Christie’s. I have absolutely no idea how I’m going to do it. You you get into that fear of rejection mode. Like what do you want to leave our audience with today who’s sitting in that position? You know, and and how it is that They can step in and embody the confidence that anything is possible for them too. [00:26:15][84.1]

Lydia Fenet: [00:26:16] Listen, the whole story about the Christie’s internship was essentially that I just called the woman day after day asking the same question differently. And ultimately after two weeks, I got the answer that I wanted. And I will say there was an amazing woman who did this to me last summer who called me about an internship in my office. And I don’t have interns because I was like, during the summer is really the only time I don’t have auctions. So that’s really my time that I try to get off and don’t do anything. But she called so many times. And I finally said to my mom, I was, my God, this woman just keeps calling. My mom said. Well, she’s clearly read your book and so I hired her. I ended up hiring her last summer to work for me as an intern because of that. And I do think that there’s something about finding someone who’s very persistent and isn’t afraid to take the word no and follow up again and again, because ultimately at the end of the day, they’re showing themselves to be someone who’s resilient. And when you have a business, when you something you need done and you need a right hand, you want that person next to you, because not only are they gonna do it, they’re gonna embolden you to do it. So to someone who’s out there, ask the question. And by the way, the answer could be no. That’s okay too. Like no’s an answer, just like yes is an answer. And you’re going to hear it. What is gonna be important for you is to hear enough so that you stop worrying so much about it. When I was writing The Most Powerful Woman in the Room is You, I was asking people for case studies in the book. And I wanted women to just write, you know, sort of like a small paragraph based on the title of the chapter. And I thought to myself like, wow, I mean, anyone would be so excited to be in a book called The Most Powerful Woman in the Room is You. I asked, I think the number was like 120 and I had 33 case studies. [00:27:54][97.6]

Wendy Paige Sterling: [00:27:55] Are you serious? Yeah. Wow. [00:27:57][2.1]

Lydia Fenet: [00:27:58] But what’s interesting is a lot of women were like, I don’t really wanna be in a book called The Most Powerful Woman in the Room as You. I wrote the book in 2017. It was right before the Me Too movement was starting up and people didn’t really want to be power women. A lot of woman don’t like that title. It was too much for them. And then there were a lot people who were like I don’t really like writing. And then some people were like I’m just too busy. We were asking powerful women to do things like I have a lot to do. And so. It was sort of like those things, but I remember the first no came from an anchor, a very well-known news show, and I’d sat next to her at lunch. We had a lovely time. I got her card, and then I followed up and asked her, and she was my first answer back, and she said, I’m so sorry, unfortunately because of my contract, I can’t. But it felt like somebody kicked me in the stomach, and I was like, oh my God, am I not gonna be able to get anyone to do these case studies? I was, like, I went into a death spiral, and I’m like, you know what, just go for a run. Went for a ran, I came back, and Barbara Corcoran. Had, you know, again, I’d seen her at an auction. I’d reached out to her office via the development director of the school where her kids went, where I’d taken the auction. And she came back and said, yeah, I would be happy to do it and submitted the next day. So if I’d never asked that first one and hadn’t felt that, I think the rest of them, there would have been one that felt like a punch in the stomach, but then the rest of them by the end, I was firing off emails to everyone I’d ever met. I’m like, do you know anyone who’s powerful? Do you know a woman? Anyone who can write. And it was like, it didn’t even matter. I was like Teflon after that point. I just felt like everything was bouncing off of me and the nose didn’t hurt at all. It was just like, they don’t wanna do it. And that’s a shame for them because this is gonna be a great book. [00:29:25][86.7]

Wendy Paige Sterling: [00:29:26] It is a great book. I can attest to that. It really spoke to me. I read it. It was one of our book clubs in my mastermind client group and it was so powerful for all of us. And that was the reason that I reached out to you because also of a mutual acquaintance that we both have. But I want to highlight something that you just said that I don’t think a lot of people necessarily equate to this, which is that you went for a run. That’s a pause moment that you reset, right? You reset your energy and you reconnected back in and then look what the universe brought you the second that you came back, right. And I think that we, coming back to full circle to some of a lot of what we talked about today is when we try to be in control and when we get down on ourselves and we spiral into that self-doubt. You know, that’s when you’re out of alignment with the energy of what it is that the universe wants to bring to you. And it really speaks to the power of these pause moments for us to really be able to reconnect trust and to reclaim or claim our confidence in ourselves and know that the right people are going to come. And the women that you have in that, you know in that in book and across all those chapters. Are so incredibly relatable. So I just wanted to highlight that moment. [00:30:54][87.9]

Lydia Fenet: [00:30:55] Oh, thank you. Well, I honestly could not have been happier with the way that it came about. And, and I agree. I do think that there is something to be said. And I always say this to my PR team when something that, you know, we’re all working towards something and we’re excited and then it doesn’t come through. And I say to them all the time, I’m like, guys, it wasn’t the right time. And we don’t know when the right is, but you can’t fit a square peg in a round hole and why force it? There are a million different things we can try. All that work that we do on the back end, ultimately will pay off. It could pay off tomorrow. It could be off in a year. It can be off from three years. I’ve worked for so long, the same as you. And I’ve seen relationships or things that started to be like things that I planted five, 10 years ago are finally coming to fruition now. And now with the benefit of age and the benefit all these years, I’ve realized sometimes there’s no reason to rush it because it’s better when it comes than the way that it’s supposed to. I couldn’t agree more. [00:31:50][55.6]

Wendy Paige Sterling: [00:31:51] Oh my gosh, Lydia. I swear I could talk to you for another hour. I think you are. No, I’m serious. I really I have so many questions, more questions that I would want to ask you. But I can’t thank you enough for for saying yes and for coming on the show today. It really like is truly an honor to have you here. And I want to make sure that everybody knows where they can find you, follow you, immerse themselves in your amazing content. So please share with everyone how they can fight you. Yeah, absolutely. So Instagram is where I live. [00:32:22][31.1]

Lydia Fenet: [00:32:23] I’m not in the real life. I’m definitely on Instagram. So it’s at Lydia Fanet. I do a lot on LinkedIn, Lydia Fanett, and then Facebook. It’s the same on everyone. The only thing that’s very interesting is on TikTok, which I just recently joined. It turned out that I had joined in the form of someone else. So someone else has my name and is posting my content under Lydia Fanette. So I am Lydia W. Fanett. I know. And TikTok won’t shut it down. So I don’t know what to do about that. But anyway, they’re just posting my stuff. So, I guess it doesn’t really matter, but I have no ownership over that. So it’s Lydia W. Fennette on TikTok. Okay, anyone can help me without let me know. [00:32:55][31.9]

Wendy Paige Sterling: [00:32:57] Fun of social media. Well, thank you. Thank you so much. I’m a huge fan. And if there’s anything, you know, you guys please follow her by her books, listen to her podcast, her content is incredible. And I hope that everybody listening today that wherever it is that you are on your journey, you know that with every single one of my episodes, My goal is to inspire each of you to find your own power in the pause. And hopefully today that also added on top of that a nugget of information that will help you to claim your confidence somewhere in your life or your business today. So don’t forget to comment on this episode. If you’re watching this on YouTube, please tag a friend, share this episode so that more people can tune in and listen. Maybe even if you guys wanna share your favorite takeaway, something that Lydia shared today, tag us both on Instagram. We would love to hear what you guys heard, what resonated, what shift you’re choosing to make in your life. And until next time, I honor each and every one of you guys, remember that your own power can be found in any pause that you gift yourself. Sending you all so much love and light always. Mwah, Lydia, thank you again. Bye everybody.


 
 
 

Comments

bottom of page